


Summer Nights Keep Getting Hotter

by alien_lord



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batman - Freeform, Blowjobs, Flirting, Hate Sex, Head Injury, M/M, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Smut, The Joker - Freeform, batman takes advantage, campy smut, car crash, makes no sense, ripped clothes, summer blowjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 11:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11873391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alien_lord/pseuds/alien_lord
Summary: The Joker is bored, and tries to attract Batman with some half baked antics. Batman shows up, but their smutty tryst after the Joker's accident isn't what usually happens.





	Summer Nights Keep Getting Hotter

Gotham city was strangely quiet on that warm summer evening. The Joker breathed in, smelling the warm summer air. It was soft on his nose, and he could smell tarmac and trash, the smells of the inner city. 

"What we need is some fire." He said, spinning on his heel, his purple suit jacket flapping out behind him. It was too hot to wear the suit, but he wore it anyway. "And some death, and destruction."  
How he loved the smell of things burning, and the screams. If anything turned him on, it was that. There was nothing that he could possibly delight in more than chaos. 

The small group of his clown thugs all nodded, their plastic masks with strange faces all agreeing with him. Wide smiles, and blank eyes. They didn’t say anything. They knew better. He was alright with publicly executing any of the clowns that displeased him. There was always someone to replace them. 

He smiled to himself, reaching up a hand to touch his scars. He told people that they were from different things. That he had done them to himself, that his father had done it to him. He enjoyed watching people's reactions. In fact, he didn’t remember what had happened anymore. Maybe one day he’d be telling a story, and he’d remember what happened.  
The clown thugs were antsy, dancing from foot to foot, glancing around themselves, watching. Waiting. They didn’t like waiting around like this. They were worried it would attract the Batman. 

The Joker sighed, and stretched his back, it making loud crunching noises that disturbed most of those around him. Turning from the sunset, he faced his thugs. "Well?" He asked, turning to the first masked clown. "What are we doing this lovely evening?" His voice was gravelly and thick, he always sounded like he needed to cough. 

The thug stuttered. Terror was in his eyes. He hesitated, and it was a long enough pause to irritate the Joker.  
Pulling out his knife, the Joker stabbed him through the chest, right between his ribs, twisting the handle of the knife and enjoying the gurgling noise that the clown made before he fell down backwards, blood pouring out of his chest. Ah, the glorious colour. The thug hit the ground with a sickening thud, and behind their masks the other thugs twitched. Leaning down besides the barely breathing clown, the Joker looked around. “It was a simple question. We’re looking for the Batman.” 

The Joker asked, turning to them, still grinning. "Get the car ready." He skipped a little bit. This day was turning out better than he had expected.  
The three remaining clowns nodded in unison, and raced off to get the car ready.  
The Joker leaned down and wiped his knife on the dead clown’s jacket. He didn't want blood on his new suit, at least for now. He stepped over the body, and skipped a little bit. Stopping, he cocked his head to the side, listening for the sound of an engine.  
Now. Where was that car? It appeared seconds later, and he climbed inside. 

The evening sped by, and the Joker was enjoying himself. They set off some sticks of dynamite down by the harbor, shot some rounds through the local police headquarters. That type of stuff that just past time, he was bored, just trying to spice up his summer.  
The thugs were all nervous, but the Joker was relaxed. He glanced up in the sky. When was the gallant bat going to come and drag him off to the asylum? He always did. It was a habit now. The Joker was getting frustrated that the Bat hadn’t shown up yet. Had he forgotten about him? Moved on? Found a better villain? 

Suddenly there was a loud crash from the top of their van, and the Joker glanced at his watch. Ah. A little late, but acceptable. Batsie was just making him wait. 

"What do we do boss?" The driver asked, panic flashing in his eyes. The Joker cackled shrilly. "Turn! Turn! Turn!" He shrieked, clutching his hands together gleefully. His yellow smile peeked out between his red lips, even though the makeup was starting to run into the skin around his mouth, giving it a bled effect. 

The thug swerved, and the van raced down an alley, garbage cans crunching and screeching, as one became lodged under the front of the car.  
"Dead end!" The clown driving wrenched his wheel to the left, and the car shook, leaning over on two wheels, and plowing into the wall at the end.  
The Joker's head snapped forward, and cracked against the dashboard before snapping back, he probably should have been wearing a seatbelt. He felt dazed. Never start with the head. Isn't that what he always told the Bat?

His door was wrenched open, and he was dragged out, he felt like a child being lifted out of the car. He squinted his eyes. It was Batman! Tall, dark, and imposing. 

He grinned. "Bats!" His half cracked smile betrayed a sort of stunned expression on his face.  
"Don't look so happy Joker." Batman growled, in that strange unnatural, throaty sound. "I'm taking you back to Arkham." His voice was raspy, and the Joker wondered briefly if it hurt his throat talking like that all the time.

The Joker sighed, dropping his hands to his side. "You can send me.” His filthy teeth were the only thing that Batman could notice, “But I have- um,” he paused, “Resources.” He trailed off, not really sure where he was going with his statement.  
Batman was looking at him oddly. "You must have really hit your head." He muttered to himself, voice still uncomfortably raspy.  
The Joker shrugged, "Why can't you just let me be evil? You know, break the pattern?"

Batman looked at him like he had grown a third head. "Why don't you just stay in the asylum, and let Gotham be nice for a while?" His head cocked to the side. The other clowns had long fled out the car, and back down the alley. 

The Joker shrugged. "It wouldn't be any fun that way." He whined, “I just get so bored-“  
Batman was still looking at him with a strange expression on his mostly masked face. "I think I'm taking you to the asylum. Maybe they'll look at your head."  
The Joker reached a hand up to his head. It was wet. Not with makeup, but with blood. He took his fingers away, looking at his hand. It was red. He felt confused. He didn’t feel like it was hurt, but the blood was right there to prove him wrong.  
Batman grabbed his arms, pulling out his handcuffs that were on his belt.  
The Joker jumped away. "Since when do you carry handcuffs?" He asked. Batman didn't take people in easily. Handcuffs were for sissies. For cops. Batman wasn't a sissie.

Batman looked at him. "They're stronger than tape." He clicked open one. The Joker was backing up. He stepped back, his back into the wall, the brick digging into the back of his purple vest.  
Batman walked over to him. "Just turn around." He sighed, it wasn’t as fun catching the Joker when he was being like this.  
The Joker's vision was going fuzzy. Where was he? What was even going on? He touched his head again, maybe he had hurt himself. He giggled, lowly. 

Batman grabbed one of his arms, cranking it up behind him. The Joker made a little exclamation, and tried to tug his arm back out of the Batman’s hand.  
Click. One of the handcuffs clicked over his wrist. The Joker didn't like that sound. He struggled against Batman.

Batman shoved him against the wall. "Stop moving. You've probably got a concussion. It's not that I care about your health, it's just that it isn’t as fun to fight you when you’re like this”. He felt it was morally wrong. Damn that internal set of morals he still had. 

The Joker wasn't listening. He struggled against Batman. Batman shoved him against the wall harder, using his own body to hold him there. Batman was taller, and had a ridiculous amount of muscle, but the Joker wasn’t small. He was lean, and wirey. He was surprise strong.  
Finally the Joker stopped thrashing around, and was instead trying to plan an escape. Suddenly though, he felt something. Something hard was digging into the back of his leg.

He had to think hard. His brain still wasn't working that well, and his head was aching. He grinned to himself, biting his lip to stop laughing. But he couldn’t help it, and he let out a laugh.

Batman had a hard on. From catching him, and handcuffing him against a wall. And they said that he had issues.  
He almost wanted to sing. Sing something taunting right at Batman. But he didn't. He bit his scarred lower lip with a giggle, not minding the taste of the lipstick he got in his mouth. 

The Joker had a plan to escape, it was coming through his fuzzy head.

Slowly he rubbed himself down, and then back up, very slowly, the back of his leg rubbing against the bulge. So slow that Batman probably didn't even know what he was doing. But obviously Batman felt it. The growing bulge told him so.

He felt Batman tense up behind him, and he took his chance, spinning around, and diving to the right, the handcuff stopped him short though, and Batman spun him back towards him.

Batman grabbed him, the hard spikes from his forearm digging into the Joker's chest, through the thin material of his jacket, as he shoved him back into the wall. The handcuff was dangling off of one of the Joker's arms, clinking up against the wall of the alley.  
"Happy to see me?" The Joker giggled, looking at Batman's very prominent bulge in his pants.

Batman shoved himself against the Joker harder, bulge pressing very prominently against the Joker's inner thigh now, even through Batman's thick rubber suit.

Batman was trying to hold him still while he fumbled for the other handcuff.

Slowly the Joker weighed his options. They were very limited. He took his best choice.

As Batman tried to grab the arm with the handcuff on it, the Joker used his other hand to reach down, and grab the bulge between Batman's legs. He rubbed his hand up and down it slowly. Wanting to see how Batman reacted. Everything in life was a game, and this was just the most entertaining option right now. 

Batman stopped fumbling for the handcuff, and sucked in an audible breath, taking a step back.

The Joker looked at him, one eyebrow raised. Taunting him. Laughing at him. His smile was big, and lopsided, and predatory.  
Suddenly Batman threw himself forward, shoving the Joker into the wall so hard he lost his breath. He sucked in a deep breath just as Batman crashed his lips into his. Batman’s smooth lips pressing into the scarred mouth of the Joker. 

For a second the Joker was confused. He wasn’t sure this was the outcome he’d been thinking about, but it was certainly interesting.  
Batman pressed one hand up against the wall beside the Joker's head, the other one clamped around the Joker's cuffed wrist. Batman shoved himself against the Joker even harder, and the Joker slid his leg between Batman's, feeling the bulge pressing against his upper thigh.  
Batman's lips were surprisingly supple, and soft, the Joker thought as their lips were crushed together, sucking and rubbing.  
Batman's tongue shoved into the Joker's mouth, parting his lips, and dodging through his teeth.

Heat was rising in the Joker's face from the force of the kiss. He couldn't breath properly, but he wasn't going to be the first to pull away. Then he would be weak. Their tongues tangled, and hatred mixed with lust. 

The Joker could taste Batman. He tasted like orange juice, and egg whites. Muscle building food. Maybe that’s how he was so bulky.  
Batman pulled back a second later, his own mouth covered in red and white face paint. He ran one gloved hand down it, smearing it even more, so it looked like someone had punched him in his lip, and it had bled.  
Blood. Now that was a sight that the Joker liked to see.

The Joker noticed a hungry look in Batman's eye that he had never seen before. Suddenly Batman grabbed both edges of the Joker's purple suit jacket, and tore them open. Buttons flew in the alley, tinkling along the ground. 

With the jacket out of the way, he moved through the vest, and then the purple dress shirt underneath, buttons raining down on the alley ground, mixing with the trash, and disappearing. 

He yanked the Joker forward, who felt more like a doll then anything, pulling the clothes off, and then dropping his torn shirt, jacket and vest on the ground.

Licking his lips, Batman's eyes glanced down the Joker's body appreciatively. Slowly he raised one gloved hand, and then trailed it down the smooth, hairless chest of the Joker. He didn’t shave, he just naturally had very little body hair. His body was lean, pulled tight with muscles under the skin, taut and ready to spring.

Suddenly Batman ripped off his gloves, tossing them on the pile with the Joker's shirts, which were lying off to the side by a overturned dumpster.  
Slowly Batman's hand crept down the Joker's chest, then his ribs, then to his smooth stomach, and across his prominent abdominal muscles to the top of his low purple pants. The hip definition that separated Joker’s lower body from his stomach muscles was impressive.  
The pants sat low on the Joker's slim hips, and Batman's fingers slid around the waist band before slipping down to the zipper.

The Joker was watching with interest as Batman slowly unzipped the zipper, fingers trailing into his pants. His eyebrow slightly cocked.  
The Joker made a little breathy sound when Batman's cold fingers slid under the band of his underwear, and reached his length.  
The Joker pressed himself up against the wall, bare back being dug into by bits of brick and gravel. Batman glanced up at him and grinned with his red strained mouth.

Batman's cold hand wrapped against the Joker's length, and slowly began to rub up and down, from the base to the tip. The Joker bit his lip and let out a breathy sigh, rolling up his eyes.

Slowly the Joker's dick became hard, until it was straining on the front of his purple suit pants .

Batman rubbed a little harder, and the Joker closed his eyes, rocking his hips ever so slightly under Batman's touch.  
Suddenly Batman grabbed him and shoved him to the ground, on his knees. His knees dug into bits of gravel, and trash that littered the alley.  
Batman unzipped the front of his bat-suit pants hurriedly, his own length springing free. The Joker grinned  
"Suck it." Batman growled in that strange voice.

"Take off your shirt first." The Joker said. “Uhm, your bat suit. The top bit-“ he gestured one purple gloved hand. It was only fair. Besides the ground was making his knees itchy, and the sun was disappearing below the horizon, and his skin was starting to get cold on his back.  
Batman complied, unzipping the top of his bat suit with a zipper that the Joker didn't even know was there.  
Batman's chest was finally chiseled, all of his abdominals looking like they'd been etched out by an artist. He was more built then the Joker, but he was still hairless. He definitely waxed.

The Joker appreciated his body. Batman thrust himself a little closer to the Joker's face. "Now suck." He said loudly, the growl in his voice slipping for a second as his erection strained painfully into the Joker's face.  
The Joker reached up, grabbing both of Batman's hips, and turning him so that Batman was pressed against the brick wall with the Joker facing him. Then he stared at Batman's erection.

With one hand he grabbed the base, gently at first and then harder, making Batman suck in his breath and roll his eyes skyward. He trailed a finger down the tip of it, making Batman growl. "Just fucking suck it." He snarled, reaching a hand down to the back of the Joker's head, and shoving his face forward.

He reached his scarred mouth forward, taking Batman's length into his mouth, and starting to suck, bobbing his head back and forth. It wasn’t the first time that Joker had done this, he was partial to anyone, he had no interest in the boring concepts of the gender binary.  
From the impressively loud moan that Batman uttered, the Joker felt that it was safe to say that he was doing a good job. He could feel his own erection straining that the front of his pants, and as he sucked he reached into his own pants. Batman gave him a sharp kick in the knee.  
"Don't." He growled. The Joker removed his hand from his pants, placing it back on Batman's hip bone. If he’d been a pouter, he would have pouted, but he didn’t. 

Batman's dick was warm in the Joker's mouth, and strangely salty, a little bit of warm liquid dripped onto the Joker's tongue but he kept sucking, his green haired head flicking back and forth. After what felt like ages, Batman finally came. His core tightened, and his hips shook a little bit, before he came in the Joker’s mouth. 

Batman was panting, but still let the Joker suck for a couple more seconds. Then he shoved him back. The Joker unbalanced from being on his knees, fell backwards onto the ground.

Batman was zipping up the front of his pants. The Joker scrambled to his feet.  
Batman's eyes glanced down his body to his crotch, smiling almost snidely when he took in the Joker's bulging pants front. Batman was an expert at getting what he wanted. 

The Joker looked at him, wanting to see what he was going to do. Batman grabbed the slighter man, and slammed him up against the wall. The Joker could feel skin on his back tear and bits of brick embedded into his skin.

Then Batman dropped to his knees, grabbing the top of the Joker's pants, and tearing it open, instead of just unbuttoning it. He ripped the zipper apart to. The Joker sighed a little, he’d just had this suit tailored. 

The Joker's tongue ran a path around his lips. He was sweating and he ran a hand over his face, and when he took his hand away, it was covered with face paint makeup, he wiped his hand on the side of his pants, they didn’t matter now.  
Batman tugged down the Joker's pants, raising an eyebrow at the fact that the Joker went commando. The Joker couldn’t see the expression change because of the mask, but it didn’t matter. 

He didn't hesitate, taking it into his mouth, and sucking, hard, his teeth grazing over the sensitive skin. The Joker didn’t moan, but he tensed, and he thought Batman wouldn’t notice. But Batman glanced up at him, his dark eyes sneering.  
The Joker bit the inside of his mouth. Batman pressed one hand against the base of the Joker's shaft, and the other against his inner thigh, one holding, and the other stroking.

The Joker rolled his eyes up in his head, heart pounding. Slowly he started to roll his hips forward, into Batman's mouth.  
Batman sucked harder and faster, while the Joker rocked himself faster and faster into Batman's mouth. He wanted to shove his whole length down Batman’s throat, but he didn’t, he didn’t know how the Dark Knight would react.  
Batman sucked hard, positioning the Joker down his throat, and then the Joker couldn't help himself. He came with a slight moan into Batman's mouth.

As soon as the Joker came, Batman stood up, wiping off the edges of his mouth.  
"This doesn't change anything." He told the Joker, angrily. Wondering why he’d given into carnal lust in the first place.  
The Joker nodded, "I know." He giggled. He tried to put the front of his pants together and failed. "These were designer." He muttered angrily, picking up the scraps of his shirt and vest. 

Batman zipped up his shirt, and put his gloves back on before shooting one of his bat wires up to the top of the building. He clipped the bat wire around his waist.

"Nice cheekbones by the way." He told the Joker grinning. The Joker put his hand up to his face to feel. Almost no face paint left, his face was bare. A flutter of panic ran through his chest.

"Also." Batman caught his attention. He was holding the handcuff key between his fingers. He unzipped the front of his pants slowly, and placed it inside. "If you want to get your handcuff off –" the handcuff still dangled by the Joker's side, -"Come find me." And with that he launched himself into the night air, leaving the Joker standing in the alley, with torn clothes.

"How to find the Bat's lair." He muttered to himself, walking away.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this story back in 2012, so I just re-edited it and posted it here. It makes almost no sense, but it's just campy hate smut, so it's fun.


End file.
